Roxanne The Creative, Sannie And Relationships

Cookie Day

It’s Coooookkkkiiieeeee Daaaaay!

Today is one of the greatest days of the year! I love baking. It’s a passion of mine that I pursued professionally but baking in general is like therapy. It’s one of those things that I enjoy the process of and I’m good at and seeing people enjoy my creations is always uplifting. If I’m feeling particularly emotional or stressed I bake…and then I eat what I bake lol. But among reading books, cutting coupons, and watching music videos on MTV, my Grandma and I loved to bake. She introduced me to baking and Cookie Day was our thing. Each year we would spend all day making hundreds of Christmas cookies and being that Granny passed away last year, this day has even greater significance. I miss her like crazy.

Last year was the first cookie day without Granny and it sucked so bad. Not only was she super helpful but she was the fun and the “all knowing” of cookie day. Never would I have imagined cookie day (or life really) without her. But this year, I still miss her crazy but I know she’s here and I know that this day is a celebration of her and the relationship we had. I mean, I wrote this whole post yesterday and it got super emotional and deep and I was feeling anxious and down in the dumps but I didn’t want to take this post there. Granny was fun, Granny loved cooking and baking, and Granny wouldn’t want anyone to be sad today. She’s probably sitting somewhere smelling the deliciousness of the cookies and dancing to some Christmas music. It’s a great day! Also, Grandpa’s birthday is on Tuesday so lets just keep celebrating. Anyway, Granny’s favorite Christmas cookie was Pecan Muffin Tarts (I don’t know if that’s the real name but that’s what Granny’s recipe calls it lol) so I wanted to share the recipe with you…

Pecan Muffin Tarts
(Measurements are in Granny’s language **insert crying laughing emoji here**)

Crust:

  • 1 stick margarine (cut off 1 inch and save for filling)
  • 3 oz. cream cheese
  • 1 cup flour

Directions:

  1. Cream margarine and cream cheese until smooth.
  2. Add flour.
  3. Divide into 24 balls and mold each into small muffin tins (mini cupcake pan).

Filling:

  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 inch margarine (3 tbs.)
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 cup chopped pecans
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

  1. Cream sugar and butter.
  2. Add egg, mix.
  3. Add nuts, vanilla, and salt.
  4. Fill crust 3/4 full.
  5. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Enjoy! They’re pretty freaking good and if you have the time, I recommend you try them out…

And now, I want to share a poem that I wrote for Granny when she passed away. She was the glue that brought everyone together, the life of the party, and she was filled with so much love and joy and excitement. The strongest woman I knew by far and while she suffered for years, she never complained and lived life to the fullest. She’s the only person I know that did everything she wanted in life and was completely content when she passed. She loved dancing and even in her last days she was listening to her music and dancing in her bed. I love Granny. I miss Granny. And every cookie I make today is an extension of her and the love she had for people and life. Happy Cookie Day! **insert heart kissing emoji and blue heart emoji here**

One More Thing

If I could say one more thing it would be “I love you”
I’d say it over and over and over again until you felt it leave me and flow through you
I’d yell it at the top of my lungs so you’d hear it
And I’d sing it so you can dance to it
and
I’d whisper it so you’d know it’s just for you.

If I could say one more thing I’d say don’t hurt anymore.
Don’t cry about who you used to be
Don’t cry because you’re missing me
Let go of all the aches and pains
Just let your hips sway
And stretch out your arms like you’re about to soar.

If I could say one more thing I’d tell you about my day.
And I’d go on and on so I could watch your big beautiful eyes grow as you anticipate what I’ll say
And watch your mouth slowly display
One of the best smiles this world has ever seen
Because love is what it means.

If I could say one more thing I’d tell you how beautiful you are.
You knew the beauty in life and it was wearing turquoise every day
And around your neck more than 1 necklace would lay.
Your hair done, make up done, nails were a must
And you didn’t care that you had half a bust.
But even though you defied standards you had it all figured out.
Appearance aside
deep down you knew what mattered was inside.
That being a housewife was more than tending the house and kids.
You knew home is where we lived.
That food on the table brought the company of love
And a bed to lay meant joy would begin the next day.

If I could say one more thing I’d say “thank you”.
For raising the best sons and daughters
And raising their kids too.
And for loving us
And more specifically walking me to school.
For doing my hair
And for teaching me how to bake
And for just being there
at every game, and school function, and when we were sick and when we weren’t
When we were whole and when we were hurt
For pinching grandpa when he’d say no
And always being ready and willing to go.

If I could say one more thing I’d say that I’ll miss you.
Every day.
And as life happens I’ll picture you smiling and laughing and always envision you dancing.
I’ll hold on to the last time you called me baby cheeks and how you loved my red hair
And hold on to the faith that you’ll always be here.
I’d tell you how proud I am that you’re my Gramma
And promise that we’ll take care of Grandpa.

If I could say one more thing, I’d never stop telling the world about you.
Everyone I meet would know you
And the love that radiated from your heart.
They’d know your story, and that there was no Gramma without Grandpa from the start.
And they’d know what took you away
And how we never saw a tear fall throughout that month long stay.
They’d know the strongest woman that ever lived,
They’d know my Grandma Lizz.

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