This post is a little long but I just had a lot to get out. If you get to the bottom, I’m grateful for you reading… 🙂
Day 5 & 6: #Friends
Days 5 & 6 got lost in the weekend so I’m just going to throw out that over the weekend I was (and still am) beyond grateful for friends and acts of friendship. That’s kind of broad but I spent the whole weekend with friends that really make life so much better. I was grateful for friends that take care of you when you don’t make the best decisions and can’t seem to take care of yourself, friends that introduce you to new things and new people, friends that you can tell anything to and know they don’t judge, friends that give you a place to stay, and friends that you can wake up and drink hot cocoa with and say you’re going to read but end up talking the whole time about how cows burp methane and artists like No Name and Isaiah Rashad. lol That really was how my weekend played out and while there was a slight turn up but mostly turn down, it was so much fun and turned out to be an awesome weekend. So to my friends and their friendship, THANK YOU!
Day 7: #Provision
God & The Universe
On Monday I had every intention of catching up on the gratitude blog but then I forgot and then remembered and forgot… you get it. So, Monday’s #30DaysOfGratitude topic was #Provision. There are one million things to be grateful for on a day dedicated to provision but I’m going to go a little deeper than the material and let you into my mind. (it’s not scary, I promise.) I’ve truly been blessed with family that has provided so much for me, like really, I still live at home and drive a car my mom bought me when I got my license, but there’s things other people can’t provide for you like joy and happiness and love and fulfillment and for those things I believe you have to turn to your inner self/the Universe/God/(whatever you identify with). To clarify, I believe you can totally experience those feelings through/with other people but those feelings are not material and they transcend us all. Now, I’m no guru and this journey I’m on is really only a year in (or 26 years if you think about it) but at this time it’s really how I feel…
So almost a year ago I was feeling like I wanted more and not more possessions just more from life. And I’ve had those feelings before and I’ve taken baby steps like reading a book or cutting my hair (girls really do that) but this time around I was spending more time alone, more time trying to figure out life and figure out myself. I wasn’t happy at work, I experienced the death of loved ones for the first time, I was becoming less connected with my boyfriend at the time…life was just…shifting. But for some reason, things were a little different. I could give all the glory to God, or say it was the Universe conspiring, or just credit maturity and growing up, but this time I felt an immense amount of OPTIMISM. Some background information: up until this point I was a chronic worrier. I plan, I don’t like when things don’t go as planned, I ask “what if?” questions, I think worst case scenario, I try to prepare for any and everything. That being said, uncertainty and I have not had the best relationship. But I was optimistic and actually excited about what could happen. This is where I start appreciating things in a whole new light and where I start believing that the Universe and your energy provide great things…
Around the same time I was feeling all these things I was taking aerial yoga classes (literally so much fun) and my instructor, Nichoel, happened to be starting her own life coaching business. It was small talk at first but I eventually felt like I had to ask for advice and guidance and direction. Life coaches aren’t cheap and I’m not rich but she offered me a free session and pointed me in the right direction toward channeling my energy, asking myself the right questions, and resources and books to help me along. I was like “whoa, what a great coincidence how this all worked out!” and she was like “it’s the Universe responding to your energy.” lol. She introduced me to books like “The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success” and “The Power of Now” both of which were great boosters of energy and kept my optimism going and stepped my confidence game up and really encouraged me to trust myself and God. All this “work” and good vibes aren’t for nothing, though. Life will put you to the test and that it did.
I put in my resignation at work which was one of the scariest things I’ve done. I wasn’t happy but I didn’t want to upset anyone either. My last month of work was crazy, I had only saved enough money to last me 2 months, I had no job lined up, but I told myself I deserved a break and if I had to I’d work at Starbucks until I found what I wanted. Planner tip #1: Always have a back-up plan. Like I said, I didn’t have anything lined up but I ended up getting let go a week early which meant…I could collect UNEMPLOYMENT. Money was the biggest concern at the time because even though I felt I deserved a break, my school loans weren’t about that life. Moral of the story: it all worked out. Life wasn’t done though. A couple months later my boyfriend at the time broke up with me. And it sucked. Real bad. We had been together for 4 years so you can imagine how that went down. But my vibes were just too high and too good to drop all the way down. There were some really bad days but some of the best things I heard during that time were “You’re handling this really well.” I appreciated those words so much and I honestly really felt that I was too. I unknowingly had been putting in the work to create enough positive energy to keep me going, surround myself with people who I knew loved me and had my best interest in mind, I had been spending more time alone anyway so the daily routine shift wasn’t as bad, and I trusted that this shift was setting me up for something great.
Once I started getting into the groove of keeping this optimism and trust in God, I started noticing all kinds of little things. Like when I didn’t have money to spend willy nilly but I wanted to enjoy an outing with my family so I went and made the best of it and a stranger gave me a free ticket and I only spent $12 or when I was a little bummed that one of my friends birthday and another friends wedding fell on the same day but I ended up being able to spend time with both of them and both friends had great days; everything worked out! Some people might say it’s just me finding the silver lining in things but as much as I think my attitude is a big factor, I do believe the Universe is created to provide opportunities for all of us. I’m very much still in a period of transition. And it gets hard and frustrating sometimes. Like, I really just want a good paying job with reasonable hours and full benefits so I can move out of my moms house and buy a new car…is that too much to ask?!?!? lol. But living “unbound” has allowed me so much time and opportunity to do (almost) whatever I want. I trust it will all work out because it always does. And I say that because looking back on all the “downs” in my life, something has always presented itself to help me back up. Whether it was being introduced to my counselor or finding a new friend or joining a ministry group or strengthening my relationships with my family, something always presented itself without much effort. The extent to which we take advantage of those opportunities is up to us but they’re there. They’re always there. And that is why I am so grateful for God and the Universe for constantly providing for all of us.